My struggle...
I've noticed that no one has ever filled this forum out, so I thought I would be the first. Please don't hate me but currently I am 5'8 and 130 pounds... but I DO have PCOS. People do not believe me when I tell them because I'm not overweight, but I do. I have an A cup bra size, however my waist is way thicker than it should be based upon my frame size... I wear zip up shirts alot just to give the illusion that my breasts are larger and to cover up my waist. I've been on the system for three months, but am still dealing with symptoms and still very frustrated.
Here is my history...
I did not have my first period until I was 14, and when it finally did happen, I did not get my second one until one year later. I didn't even wear a bra until 8th grade because I didn't have a need for it. I don't know if a small breast size has anything to do with PCOS, but I was definitely a "late bloomer". I started getting acne when I was fourteen, and it was really bad all the way through college. I was a dancer and took classes three times per week, plus played softball, so I've always been a very active person. But it seemed like no matter how much I exercised my waist would just not shrink. In addition to that, I had anxiety issues, insomnia, and really bad PMS (even though I wasn't having periods).
When I was sixteen, my mom brought me to the OBGYN. The doctor took an ultrasound and told us that I had cysts on my ovaries and based upon my menstrual history, she was pretty sure I had PCOS. The only options she gave me were putting me on birth control pills to give me a cycle every month, or to give me progesterone medicine when the gap between cycles was getting close to 90 days. We opted for the progesterone because the regular birth control thing didn't really appeal to us.
So my cycle was off and on though the rest of high school, I took progesterone when the lack of a period started to scare me, and I continued to have severe acne, a thick middle, a very moody personality. My dad used to joke that when I was moody I needed to eat something, because usually that improved my mood temporarily.
In college, it started to get worse... I'm assuming stress was the factor... I was having a very hard time with stress and anxiety, extremely homesick, bad acne, and was starting to gain weight. I ended up dropping out after three semesters because I just felt like I couldn't take college anymore. After being home, I discovered ProActiv, which I thought was my skin saving dream. I also went on the birth control pill because I wanted to feel a sense of normalcy. Still I was plagued with moodiness, and my thick middle... but overall felt better since I was at home.
After that summer, I transferred to a college two hours from my home. Those last three semesters I was determined to make it better. The proactiv stopped working all together and my acne got worse. I ended up being a consistent 145+ pounds with my thick middle. I ate very little, and exercised about 6 times per week, and the weight was just stuck and would not go down. I struggled through the rest of those three semesters, but made it through to graduation.
After moving home in May, I got two jobs and worked 40 - 50 hours on my feet consistently per week, and fifteen pounds dropped off me by the end of June. My mom had recently started introducing organic health food and vitamin supplements into our household, which I believe was a huge factor to why the weight dropped off. Ever since then, I've been struggling to eat healthy and been taking supplements and trying desperately to feel better.
I got married that winter. I had been taking birth control pills on a regular basis, went back on proactiv which cleared my skin up. However, that didn't last very long and the skin problems came back, and I was moody and anxious as usual. Being more convinced that natural foods and a more holistic way of life was the way to go, I started slowly trying to get rid of everything in my life that I thought may be causing my hormonal issues. I went off the birth control pills after being on them consistently for five years. Since then, everything was managable. I still skipped periods, but I was having more than I ever had in my life. I still had acne, but it wasn't in the severe stage anymore. I've been the same weight consistently since then as well. I was still very moody, but my husband dealt with it, and would forgive me. I still had anxiety and insomnia problems, but I dealt with it.
We moved to a new place in the summer of 2008, and I started working a stressful waitressing job. I had a period in at the end of May, worked all summer feeling constantly stressed, and did not get another period until September. The period issues continued, but I tried really hard to deal with it by trying to be completely natural with what I put on and in my body, plus I've been taking vitamins consistently which improves my mood. When I didn't have a period I would use topical progesterone cream which helped. Acne was still of course always an issue.
Last spring, it started to go downhill again. I started back up at the restaurant and missed periods, and the progesterone cream stopped working. I went over 70 days without a cyle, then it started turning into almost 100 days. I pretty much started to freak out. My pants kept getting tighter, I coudn't sleep, I would have panic attacks.... it was horrible.
I finally jumped in and decided to attend graduate school because I was tired of waiting tables. The semester was hard and stressful, and I started having what felt like constant PMS symptoms. Then in December, the week before finals, after not having a period for over 90 days... I finally had what I felt was the worst angry, anxious, PMS attack of my life. I called my mother crying hysterically because I felt like I couldn't take it anymore. I felt horrible on a regular basis and felt completely out of control. I went to her house for the whole weekend and just tried to calm down and sort my life out. I felt better, and then the next morning after I had come home, there was my period. I wanted to jump up and down for joy!
I had found insulite labs on the internet a while back, but the system just seemed unaffordable to me. At this point, I had decided that I couldn't afford to miss out on what might be a good possibililty in fixing me. I started the system in December right after my period ended. Then I had a period 46 days later. I was in absolute shock. Now it is March and I'm in the middle of my third month (I missed two weeks of supplements because of an order problem which may have thrown things off a little). I still have acne, and I'm still waiting for my second period, but my anxiety and mood has improved, especially since I'm making an effort to eat more often throughout the day. I'm not completely sold yet, but I am very hopeful and pray that I'm getting closer to winning this fight!
To anyone who is reading this, thank you for taking the time. Please know that you are not alone! Sometimes when I feel like I am going to lose it, I remember about all the other women that are making posts on these forums that are struggling too. I am hopeful that all of us can make a change, and that in turn we can be a help in educating other women to prevent PCOS from taking over their lives as well.
DON'T GIVE UP!
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